Twice in the last month, I have awakened in the middle of the night absolutely convinced that a big spider is crawling across my husband’s pillow.
Fortunately for my husband, I am not the one in charge of smashing spiders in our family. This means instead of grabbing a shoe and wildly pummeling his pillow (on which resides…his head), I simply wake him up at 2am by screaming at the top of my lungs…
“THERE’S A GIANT SPIDER ON YOUR PILLOW!”
On both occasions, my husband has jumped out of bed, turned on the insanely bright overhead light, grabbed a shoe and yelled,
“WHAT?!?! WHERE?!?! WHAT?!?! WHERE?!?!”
On both occasions, I have said,
“THERE!!!! THERE!! I don’t know… Hmmmmm… M’ybe thr’s nt a spid… Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…”
Then I wake up the next morning with a bleary-eyed husband whose look turns to a glare when I say, “Good morning! How did you sleep?”
To investigate the root of my night terrors (these are the things I do with my 3 minutes of daily “me time”), I looked up the meaning of spider dreams on the internet.
It turns out that spider dreams symbolize a sense of feminine power.
Not according to my husband.
In fact, I think “ironic” is the word he used, because my feminine power dreams are about to earn me a spot on the couch, which would be ok except…
he said I have to take all the baby monitors to the couch with me…
All of a sudden, the couch is not as appealing…
Oh well, my research did reveal at least one positive thing. My husband can console himself with the assurance that I will never dream ants are attacking.
Apparently, a dream about ants indicates that you feel your life is “too structured and orderly”.
Ha! Even with all of my feminine power…
even when I’m channeling my inner-spiderwoman…
we all know there is no chance of that.