Twice in the last month, I have awakened in the middle of the night absolutely convinced that a big spider is crawling across my husband’s pillow.

Fortunately for my husband, I am not the one in charge of smashing spiders in our family.  This means instead of grabbing a shoe and wildly pummeling his pillow (on which resides…his head), I simply wake him up at 2am by screaming at the top of my lungs…


On both occasions, my husband has jumped out of bed, turned on the insanely bright overhead light, grabbed a shoe and yelled,

“WHAT?!?!   WHERE?!?!   WHAT?!?!   WHERE?!?!”

On both occasions, I have said,

“THERE!!!!  THERE!!  I don’t know… Hmmmmm… M’ybe thr’s nt a spid… Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…”

Then I wake up the next morning with a bleary-eyed husband whose look turns to a glare when I say, “Good morning!  How did you sleep?”

To investigate the root of my night terrors (these are the things I do with my 3 minutes of daily “me time”), I looked up the meaning of spider dreams on the internet.

It turns out that spider dreams symbolize a sense of feminine power.

Interesting, right?!

Not according to my husband.

In fact, I think “ironic” is the word he used, because my feminine power dreams are about to earn me a spot on the couch, which would be ok except…

he said I have to take all the baby monitors to the couch with me…

All of a sudden, the couch is not as appealing…

Oh well, my research did reveal at least one positive thing.  My husband can console himself with the assurance that I will never dream ants are attacking.

Apparently, a dream about ants indicates that you feel your life is “too structured and orderly”.

Ha!  Even with all of my feminine power…

even when I’m channeling my inner-spiderwoman…

we all know there is no chance of that.

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