Lots of Birds (and two chick-flicks)

Note to self and husband: Do not park under the tree at the northeast corner of the church parking lot.


If you can't see the image clearly, know that the car is covered in approximately 5 billion bird turds.

I decided to torture you with a close-up.

Additional note to self and husband: Next time, if the car looks like the pictures above, one of us should keep the children at a safe distance while the other moves the car to a safer space to load all the kids.  (Dibs on staying with the children, by the way.)

Note to dry cleaner: Our apologies.  Clearly, these were not healthy birds.

Note to Birds:  I believe my husband is in danger of going all “Steel Magnolias” on your tail feathers, should you leave the sanctuary of the church parking lot.

And a final note, to readers (because I can’t resist): When I asked my husband if he felt “going all ‘Steel Magnolia’ ” on the birds was too feminine a reference for his intended actions (despite the guns and firecrackers involved in that scene of the film), he said, “Isn’t ‘Steel Magnolias’ a movie?  The only part I’ve ever watched is the scene where Kathy Bates rams that convertible over and over again in the parking lot.  I didn’t even know about the birds.”  (Extra point to anyone who can name that non-Steel Magnolias movie!)

Clearly I can use whatever reference I like, as this man is in absolutely no danger of being too closely associated with chick-flicks.

These birds, on the other hand, are in more danger than they know.

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6 responses to “Lots of Birds (and two chick-flicks)

  1. movie–is “Fried Green Tomatoes”–right??

    Who doesn’t LOVE “Steel Magnolias”!!!

  2. Absolutely right! One million points for Alison! And clearly the only people who don’t love Steel Magnolias are the ones who haven’t seen it : ) (my husband among them) Wonder if I can get him to watch if I emphasize the part about the birds…

  3. Obviously these are UNC birds that are pooping on an NC State colored car. Maybe you need a UNC flag to keep them away.

  4. Oh, I like the idea that the birds are targeting the color! A perfect excuse to fly the UNC flag! We should probably also add an Alabama decal so that any questions about the car’s color could be answered both by our extreme UNC loyalty, and our allegiance to the Crimson Tide. (We don’t have to tell the real story that it was the color car that happened to be available on the lot when the transmission in the other car blew!) Great thought!

  5. Do you remember the time we got dive bombed like this in San Francisco? We were eating at a super fancy restaurant at lunch that had valet. When the valet brought our rental minivan back around (why it wasn’t displayed proudly out front, I’ll never know) the entire windshield and body of the car was, well, speckled. We actually have a video driving across the Golden Gate Bridge that you can only partially make out because it’s shot through all the poop. The best part was the valet didn’t say a word, like we’d brought it in that way and he was just an innocent bystander. It was probably parked in their “mini-vans and other vehicles not welcome at this restaurant” spot.
    Wasn’t that also the trip when you ate a whole bag of tortillas for lunch? Don’t say I was never paying attention!

  6. I am laughing so hard as I’m typing this, A! I absolutely remember that! You are right on all counts…the restaurant was so fancy, the valet was so stone-faced, and (later on that trip) I did eat a whole bag of white flour tortillas (purchased at a gas station convenience store stop) for lunch. You know, that lunch was less fancy, but the car came away squidgy-cleaned (literally), which was better than what that fancy pants place offered! I absolutely remember mom and dad’s reaction to the birds in the car (hysterical!), but cannot for the life of me remember if they said anything to the valet. My guess is that dad tipped him big just to get out of there quickly (that would absolutely fit with his M.O, but not what 99% of the population would do…we’ll have to ask mom). Such a funny memory : )

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