perspective (alternate title: H is for “hold me…24 hours a day”

H likes to be held.

24 hours a day.

I like holding H.

I wish I could do it 24 hours a day.

Sometimes I need to try to put him in his swing or on his playmat for a few minutes so I can do frivolous things like laundry or dinner prep or open a childproof bottle of ibuprofin to relieve my aching back.  On occasion, I go completely nuts and try to take a shower.

He doesn’t like that.

As a result, I have learned to do things one handed.  And I shower when there is someone else available to hold him or during (precious!) naptimes.

He is not a colicky baby, because if I understand correctly (i.e. according to the go-to medical source “wikipedia”), colic is crying that occurs for no reason.

H has a reason.  It is “I am crying because no one is holding me!  I like to be held!  Even when I sleep!”

Still, even though we are not dealing with colic (thank you, God!), when I read the following quote about colic, it meant a lot to me.  It is powerful, applies to our situation (I believe), and has made me appreciate hat H lets us know that laundry, dinner and even showers can wait.  I read it a few weeks ago, and I can’t tell you how often I think about it when he starts crying because I had the nerve to put him in his bouncy chair so that I could load the dishwasher (as if I needed an excuse to avoid the dishes…let me hold that precious baby!), and when I am nursing a sore back because I have to wear him in the baby bjorn all day to get anything (anything!) done around the house.

Not a picture of H, since I'm having camera upload issues.  Instead is a picture of Nana and S during her similar "hold me!" phase.  God bless you, Nana!

Not a picture of H, since I’m having camera upload issues. Instead an archived picture of Nana & S during her similar “hold me! even as I sleep!” phase. God bless you, Nana!

I don’t know if this quote is true or not, but it offers a perspective that I need, and I’m posting it in case it helps anyone else!

From Dr. Alan Green:

“I believe that colic exists in order to change deeply ingrained relationship habits. Even after the miracle of a new birth, many parents and families would revert back to their previous schedules and activities within a few weeks – if the new baby would only remain quiet and peaceful. It would be easy to continue reading what you want to read, going where you like to go, doing what you like to do as before, if only the baby would happily comply. Instead, the baby’s exasperating fussy period forces families to leave their previous ruts and develop new dynamics which include this new individual. Colic demands attention. As parents grope for solutions to their child’s crying, they notice a new individual with new needs. They instinctively pay more attention, talk more to child, and hold the child more – all because of colic. Colic is a powerful rite of passage, a postnatal labor pain where new patterns of family life are born.”

You have our attention, H!

Our love too!

You always will.

Love,

Your mama

P.S. I do realize that in the previous blog post, H was lying contentedly on the boppy.  That was part of his disguise : )  (and we do try to catch the rare moments on film!)

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